


(You're) My Everything

by fairuzsverses



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Accidental Confession, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun & Suh Youngho | Johnny Are Best Friends, M/M, Miscommunication, Truth Serum, barely any angst, references to the 10 floor video, why is that not a tag, yuta and mark are also best friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:46:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27882458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairuzsverses/pseuds/fairuzsverses
Summary: Jaehyun had two big problems: finishing his dissertation and coping with his feelings towards his crush. Who also happened to be his flatmate. Who also happened to be a very affectionate man, *except* with him, apparently. So when the opportunity to go work somewhere else arises, will he take it to put distance and get over his crush? How will Yuta react?or, Yuta develops a truth serum and might try it to check if it works. when no one is around, just to be safe. or so he thought.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Nakamoto Yuta, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 73
Collections: Sakura Mochi - a yujae centered ficfest





	(You're) My Everything

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I had lots of fun writing this. I hope you have fun reading it too.
> 
> Prompt #22:
> 
> jaehyun has had the biggest crush on yuta since well, forever. but he's sure the other has some kind of problem with him, or he even dislikes his presence and only tolerates it because they have a shared friend/work group. because where yuta is openly affectionate with everyone else, be it with words, touches, kisses etc, he seems reticent to do any of this with jaehyun. (read: he has the biggest crush on jaehyun too and he thinks he will make the other uncomfy/doesn't want to get his hopes up/is just too embarrassed)

“One more year to go, c’mon.” It was already getting chilly that week so Jaehyun had brought mostly warm clothes for this semester. However, the weather decided to pull a prank on them and that day was really hot, so much he was forced to be topless at his shared uni apartment because he didn’t have any suitable clothes. Besides, none of his flatmates were there yet anyway.

There wasn’t a lot to do at home the very first day of the new school year besides unpacking. Jaehyun decided that was the best way to spend his stay-at-home time. Books on the shelfs, clothes inside the wardrobe, writing supplies on the desk, etc. He paused for a bit at lunch time and ate the little kimbap rolls he had brought from his parents’ home. Good thing his parents always remembered to give him food for the first days because he would’ve died from the heat otherwise. He finished his task and checked who was already in the campus versus who was going to arrive later. Apparently, his flatmates were arriving that same night. _Food is on the waaaaaaay!_ Taeyong loved cooking so having him as a flatmate was definitely a perk.

The first one to get there was Yuta. Ten minutes later, Doyoung and Taeyong arrived. Taeyong’s hometown was close to Doyoung’s so they always picked each other out. As Jaehyun had predicted, Taeyong had brought with him various dishes and as it was already dinner time, they set up the table quickly and began chatting.

“Well, guys, finally last year, huh?” said Taeyong. He was taking a postgrad program to become a teacher. “How are we feeling about it?”

“It’s weird, I want to finish already but I know I’m going to miss it once it’s done” said Jaehyun. “Besides, I’m going to miss the choir so much”.

“Well, I’m going to miss making you all try my beverage experiments, I’m not sure my family or job colleagues would agree drinking my mixes,” Yuta commented.

“Okay, okay, but what are you doing for your final dissertation?” Taeyong asked again. He loved talking about education, so the questions were no surprise for the rest of them.

“I’m trying to recreate the very, very, very famous truth serum. It’s supposed to be difficult to get right, and if you mess one single ingredient you get things like a laughter potion or rat poison.”

“That sounds interesting, Yuta, but I hope you don’t put it in our mixes”. Doyoung was usually the receiver of pranks within the group, and as such he was always wary of his friends’ shenanigans.

“No, oh my, that would be so unethical, I prefer the old method of making all of you play truth or dare.” They played that game a lot, because it allowed for a great excuse to try Yuta’s new mixes. Usually they didn’t contain alcohol because Yuta actually wanted to know their opinions on the flavours and textures, and alcohol didn’t allow for a good memory later. Also, it meant the only risk while playing was trying to avoid long lines at the bathroom.

“I’m continuing my mermaids’ research. Suho is helping me lots, I’m so glad I met him at choir”. Jaehyun answered. “What about you, Doyoung?”

“I’m continuing with unicorns, I think. But I’ve changed my research towards a historical point of view”.

“Anyway, I’m really glad I get to spend one more year with you”. One very sleepy Taeyong said while going to his room. “Good night”.

\--

The morning after, Jaehyun woke up and smelled delicious pancakes in the air. _I missed this._ He got up fast to get some pancakes from Taeyong before the other two would finish them all. Although he had to admit that he was the one with the biggest appetite in their house.

He found Doyoung and Taeyong eating and cuddling in the sofa, while Yuta was seated at the table in silence. Jaehyun wished he could cuddle with Yuta, and he knew the man didn’t dislike cuddling at all, he did it all the time with their younger friend Mark. But, for some reason, he avoided doing it with Jaehyun. He did have a theory, though. Yuta was probably aware of his long-time crush and, as such, didn’t want to give fake hopes to the other. Jaehyun tried to hide his crush, but there is so much you can hide when you share an apartment with someone. He only hoped that he wasn’t making Yuta uncomfortable. _Ugh, anyway._

Jaehyun got a plate from the cupboard, served himself pancakes, and then proceeded to sit on the opposite end of the table while eating in silence. Yuta seemed to be lost in thought so he didn’t want to interrupt his flatmate’s intense thinking. However, at some point Yuta talked to him and they shared their opinions on their mentors. Apparently, Yuta’s mentor was down for his mixology experiments but not about trying them. “His loss” was Jaehyun’s take on the matter.

\--

Next morning, Jaeyhun had his first tutoring session with his mentor. They went over which archives were going to be most useful for his research and made a quick index draft. Jaehyun found the talk helpful because. Although he could spend hours talking about his ultimate goal, he still wasn’t sure how to structure the work.

“That’s what mentors are for, dude” Johnny told him on their way to the cafeteria. They had met through Ten, a mutual friend and Johnny’s current flatmate.

“I knooow, but is everyone else as lost as me? Because Yuta sounded like he knew everything about the process and—“.

“Nah, that’s your crush showing”. Jaehyun looked around quickly to check if anyone they knew was around. “I overheard Yuta talking to Mark on the phone and he’s as scared as we are, don’t worry about it”.

“I guess”. They finally got to the cafeteria and saw that the line was, as usual around peak hour, super long. “Fuck, I hope I don’t arrive late to the choir again, I already got late twice last week”.

Fifteen minutes later, both had their coffees and said goodbye. Jaehyun was definitely late to the choir now and he couldn’t run with the cup without burning his hand. _Ugh, I’ll have to make my own cup at home._ He finally arrived and went to his place next to Ten. He could feel his professor’s gaze piercing him while murmuring a low “sorry” towards him. Ten smiled and quickly pointed at his music sheet to indicate where they were. The rest of the class went on smoothly. Ten mentioned he was going to wait for Johnny to pick him up. Jaehyun thought about going with them but decided against it because he saw their professor walking in his direction. Ten waved him goodbye and wished him luck before going. “Thanks”. He was going to need it for sure.

When he got out, he had some texts from Ten asking him if the prof was rude to him.

**Jaehyun:**

Nope apparently he heard from Suho that I was making my diss on music and wanted to ask me about it

**Ten:**

OHHHH thats nice of him

I thought you were getting penalised for being late

**Jaehyun:**

Yeah me 2 tbh but he was very nice

He did ask me to try being more on time tho

**Ten:**

u should

**Jaehyun:**

dw dw ill be more on time

Jaehyun went directly to the library that evening as he needed to search the archives his mentor had mentioned earlier. He spent about three hours there every day that week, checking some very old but useful databases. By midweek, he realised he was going to need to play the different melodies while taking notes about mermaids’ vocal cords. Trying to imagine it wasn’t always enough. _Time to use the music rooms._ He quickly managed to save a spot for himself for the rest of the semester. Good thing it was still the early days of the semester or he would’ve had to fight other students over the rooms.

\--

**You were added to a new group “Spooky time!”**

**Ten:**

Girls and gays time to prepare for our annual Halloween partyyyyyyy

**Wendy:**

What time is it

**Johnny:**

9 pm, our place, don’t be late

**Ten:**

and don’t forget to ACTUALLY dress as something

Jaehyun, im not tolerating another vampire costume

**Jaehyun:**

but im a very handsome vampire 😥

**Joy:**

do we have to bring snacks

**Ten:**

no excuses, Jae

Joy, love, bring them themed if you will

**Joy:**

on it

 _Ughhhhhhhh, im a VERY handsome vampire._ Jaehyun knew Ten wouldn’t let him inside if he showed up in a vampire costume again and he was really lost on ideas. He opened his private chat with Johnny.

**Jaehyun:**

dude, can you please help me with my costume

**Johhny:**

Ten said I cant help you :c

**Jaehyun:**

but im ur best friend

**Johnny:**

ask Taeyong for help, im sure he would

**Jaehyun:**

okaaaay

**Johnny:**

also please remind Yuta he’s on charge for drinks

**Jaehyun:**

got it

\--

“Has anyone seen my wig?” It was Halloween evening and they were already a bit late to the party. “Doyoung, stop doing your make-up and come help me.” Taeyong was in full mom mood, getting overstressed and trying to finish his costume. Jaehyun continued getting all the snacks they had prepared. He was already dressed with his rendition of Pugsley Addams. Yuta was going to be Wednesday, and Taeyong and Doyoung were going as Morticia and Gomez. It had been Yuta’s idea because he loved playing with his hair and the pigtails seemed like the perfect opportunity.

Taeyong and Doyoung were finally done so they got all the snacks and ingredients for drinks that Yuta prepared and got going.

A witch opened the door for them. “Hi!” Joy turned around and shouted, “Drinks are heeeeere.”

Yuta immediately went to the kitchen to get into drinks duty and began organizing the area for him. Jaehyun knew Yuta didn’t like talking to people while mixing and so he decided to go search for Johnny. He found him in a pirate costume talking to Mark and trying to guess costumes. “Wait, what?” was Mark’s reaction upon seeing Jaehyun, “goddammit, you were right.”

“Told ya”. Johnny smirked.

“Ugh, I keep losing bets against you since we’re here.”

“Not my problem.”

“Am I missing something?” Jaehyun was really confused, he didn’t remember Johnny mentioning any bets.

“I made a bet you were going to show up again in a vampire costume and try to seduce Ten into getting away with it.” Mark explained while handing Johnny the money.

“Gross, I wouldn’t do that.”

“What are you going for, though?”

“The kid from Addams family. It was Doyoung’s idea.”

“I’m going for more snacks,” Johnny got up, “wanna come?”

“Sure, bye Mark!”

Once Mark couldn’t hear them, Johnny confessed they made the bet after giving the advice and knowing Taeyong would help for sure. “Bit unethical, don’t ya think?” Jaehyun complained.

“Nope. That’s what little brothers are for.”

“What do you mean?” They bumped into Wendy dressed as a princess. It suited her.

“Making them pay for all the times you chaperone for them as teens.”

“If you say so.”

At Yuta’s table, drinks were starting to pour. Virgin mojitos with green slime and exhaling skull-shaped gas were are the rage that night. Other hits were Bloody Marys minus the vodka and with eye-looking olives, mullet hot cider with stars floating inside (“Those are magical for sure.”), and thick blackberry juice that somehow tasted a lot like blood.

Two hours later, Jaehyun was getting some fresh air at the window. He liked parties but sometimes it got too much and he had permission from Johnny and Ten to get into their bedroom for some silence and air when it happened. He could see some ghosts wandering around through the window. It was that night where they could do it without younger students freaking out. _Ugh, not a couple again._ The door behind him opened suddenly and he was preparing mentally to explain that no couples were allowed in that room. It was only one person who got in, though.

“Oh. Hi.” What was Yuta doing there?

“Oh, you’re here. Hi. Sorry, am I interrupting?”

“Nope, just chilling.”

“Can I stay then?”

“Uh. Sure?”

“I needed to get away from drinks duty for a bit—“

“You’ve outdid yourself this year, huh.”

“Yeah, I think so. I’ve ran out of hot cider, go figure.”

“The stars were magical, right?”

“Of course,” Yuta laughed. Jaehyun really couldn’t have a bigger crush.

“What about the blackberry juice, though?”

“What do you mean?”

“How does it taste so much like blood?”

“A bit of salt and some ferritin.” Yuta explained. “But the way some people are drinking them, you’d think they’re trying to cure anaemia for free.”

“They’d have to pee a lot for that.”

“Yeah.” They stayed quiet for a bit. _He hates me for sure, ugh._ Why did he feel so awkward every time he was alone with Yuta, what kind of mean curse was this.

“So,” Yuta began, “how is your diss going?”

“Fine, how about yours?”

“Well, fermentation is a very delicate science so, uh, promising at best.”

“Oh, I see.” Jaehyun felt like the conversation was going to end there.

“What about your mermaids, though? Do they collaborate much?”

“I don’t work directly with them, only through archives and databases.”

“Why? I thought there was a mermaids’ zoo at our campus.”

“Ugh, no, it closed years ago. And even if they were still there, I wouldn’t work with them.”

“Why?”

“Bioethics, dude.”

“What do you mean?”

“They are not creatures for us to keep around as pets, you know. Their natural habitat is the ocean and having them in a super small pool is basically torture for them.”

“Oh.” Yuta looked for a second through the window. “Yeah, I see your point. At my department we have lots of debates on the truth serum.” Jaehyun waited for the rest. “I mean, I can’t go around giving it to people to check if I’m going in the right direction.”

“Yep, people are entitled to keep their secrets.” And Jaehyun had the biggest one about the man right in front of him.

“Exactly.”

\--

After that night, Jaehyun discovered Yuta did his research in the same library as him. Apparently, his experiments stank a lot and no one wanted to deal with that.

Some days they talked a bit more while taking a break, others they simply nodded when crossing paths after a long day. Jaehyun could feel he got less awkward around Yuta because they began having longer conversations than before.

One day, Jaehyun saw Yuta at the bathroom. “Hi!” He realised Yuta was crying right after waving at him. “Wait, is everything okay?”

“Nope, it’s a disaster, nothing is turning the way it’s supposed to be and I’m going to fail and—“

“Hey, hey, hey, wait, what happened exactly?”

“—I’m really going to fail my last assignment,” Jaehyun was sceptical about Yuta’s words but clearly the boy needed some emotional support, “and then I would’ve had wasted a whole year for nothing!”

“Do you…want a hug?” Jaehyun was unsure about what to do but he knew hugs usually helped.

“Uh,” Yuta seemed to hesitate, “yeah,” he said after a couple seconds.

“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun asked again.

“My microbial culture has stopped working because I didn’t feed it correctly and now I have to ask for a new one—“

“Aha.”

“—and the whole department is going to know that it happened and they’ll think I’m a disaster.”

“It’s probably not the first time it happened, though.”

“I’m a disaster, Jaehyun, you don’t understand.” Yuta continued crying for a bit on his shoulder. Jaehyun didn’t know how to comfort his friend (yes, now they were friends) and, plus, he had no idea about Yuta’s topic of choice.

“Hey, I have an idea.”

Yuta stopped sobbing for a second. “What is it?”

“How about I go with you?”

“Where?”

“To get the new culture, c’mon.”

“Uh.”

“For emotional support.”

“You don’t have to do that…”

“No, really, dude, don’t worry about it, it’ll be like an hour max anyway, it’s no problem.”

“If you say so.”

“Yeah, text me whenever you’re going but for now let’s go home and chill for a bit. You seem very overworked.”

“But I have to contin—“

“Shhhh, no discussion. There’s some kimchi-jjigae in the fridge Taeyong prepared last night, it’ll warm you, c’mon.”

“Okay… But we’re going tomorrow for the new culture.”

“’Course, I’ll be up super early just for you.”

After that day, Yuta began to ask for weekly hugs, and Jaehyun was happy to provide. Even if sometimes it meant a little bit of pain and crush repression.

\--

“Morning,” a very sleepy Taeyong emerged from his room. They were already towards the end of the semester and it was showing in the form of huge bags under their eyes. However, Yuta seemed very lively that morning. He had prepared a full breakfast for everyone. “So,” Yuta coughed a bit before continuing, “I need to ask you for a favour.”

“I am not hiding any corpses,” Doyoung seemed adamant on that, “your experiments are your own responsibility.”

“My experiments work perfectly, thank you. But I’m running out from one crucial ingredient.” He was pouting. Jaehyun thought he couldn’t have a bigger crush on him, and yet apparently the crush was infinite. “I need urine, could I use yours?”

Taeyong almost chocked on his pancake. “What?”

“Urine, I need it for my dissertation, guys—“

“Is that why you come home stinking so many times?” Doyoung looked at him with an accusatory face.

“Do—Do I?”

“Yes.” Doyoung ate another chocolate. “But I already pee everyday so I guess I don’t mind giving it to a friend for a good cause.”

“Taeyong? Jaehyun?”

 _I would give you so much more than my urine._ “Yeah, sure. Anything for a friend.” Saying that felt a bit like lying but they **were** friends so.

“Okay. And here I thought my kids were the ones making weird body questions.”

“Thank you all! I’ll leave bottles at the bathroom so you can fill them.” Yuta seemed very relieved. “Burning myself with the stove was totally worth it, knew it!”

\--

“Moooooom, can you please get the phone?” Jaehyun yelled from the shower. Being home for winter break got him into old habits quickly. Ten minutes later, he was out and asking his mom who was it.

“Someone from a research centre? They asked for you.”

“Oh? Did they say a name?”

“No, but I think I understood something about them being interested in marine sociology. The woman asked that you call when you could. Here’s the number.” A number was scribbled on the post-it. A quick search on his phone didn’t bring any relevant results, it had to be a personal number then.

“Kwon Boah office, how may I help you?” A sweet voice answered his call.

“Good morning. I’m Jeong Jaehyun—“

“Ah, good, wait, let me notify Professor Boah.” A show-tuney hold melody started. _Professor Boah? How many Professors Boah there are—_

“Hi, Jaehyun, I’m Professor Boah.” His train of thoughts was interrupted by the new voice. “I wanted to talk to you about your research.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re probably aware I work at the North Sociology Marine Centre,” so she **was** the Professor Boah he knew, “and next year we’re starting a new program specialised on mermaids. Suho mentioned you were writing a dissertation on their language and it seemed very promising.”

“I think he may have overvalued my work—“

“Nonsense, I’ve known Suho for years and I know he has an eye for good work. We’re offering you a scholarship to continue your research over the summer while mermaids live at our centre, we’d also offer you accommodation and cover transportation fees.”

“Professor Boah, I’m really surprised by your offer, I really admire your work on the topic and it would be a great honour to work with you. However, I have to think about it first.”

“Of course, wise decision.”

“When will you need a final answer?”

“April 30th. I would encourage you to really consider the offer, it would be highly valuable for you.”

“Thank you for your kind words. I will get back to you with an answer as early as possible. I really appreciate the offer, Professor, nonetheless.”

“You have a promising future, Jaehyun. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Professor.” _What. What the fuck had just happened._

“Jaehyunnie, who was it?” His mom asked from the other room.

“A professor, mom, she wanted to ask about my dissertation.”

“Ah, I knew my boy is a good student.”

“Thanks, mom”.

He immediately texted Johnny about it.

**Johnny:**

Wow, thats so cool!

**Jaehyun:**

Yeah but I really want to talk to Suho first about it

I need to know what did he say exactly to her

**Johnny:**

Im sure he said good things, he seems like a really nice mentor

**Jaehyun:**

I guess.

Oh and btw, please don’t tell anyone, I want to think about it first

**Johnny:**

no problem, my lips are sealed with your secret

**Jaehyun:**

thanks, appreciate it

\--

The benefits of being a last year student are many. One of them? Having a good routine to finish your assignments on time. By the end of January, the first draft was complete, which made Jaehyun really proud. Baby Jaehyun wouldn’t believe that he actually finished on time something, instead of asking for a million extensions. Baby Jaehyun probably also got away with it, rarely anyone could resist his dimples when he smiled. Older Jaehyun could theoretically rely on his smile, **but** he felt like it was better to do a good job. It made him feel prouder when he got a good grade. Suho answered to his message a day later and asked him to come by his office to discuss some things.

“I think the work itself is really good, you do need to get more into detail in the methodology section, though. Also, could you try and get more phrases in Annex 2? It would be very interesting and you still have some time left. Other than that, it’ll need some polishing, but I’ll send you a writing guide for that, so you can see what I mean.”

“Thanks, prof, I’m not sure if I can find more phrases, is it ok if I construct some based on the vocabulary I know even if it’s not written anywhere?”

“Of course, that would be very bold, and it would be good practice for your scholarship!”

“Uh,” that was what Jaehyun was actually worried about, “I’m still unsure about that.”

“Why? Professor Boah’s offer is very good and you’d meet a lot of people in the field there.”

“I know, I’m really thankful for the invite.” Jaehyun didn’t know how to express his point. “But…I’m not sure if I can work at my best in a new environment?”

“Aha.”

“I mean, is it really worth it if I’m going to spend half the time there trying to get the hang of things?” That was half what worried him. The other half is he would miss his friends (and Yuta) lots, but he wasn’t going to share that with his mentor.

“Of course! Most recent graduates are like that, the people at the Centre know it’s your first experience out of university and they’ll be understanding on that matter.”

“Ah, I see…”

“Is that everything that worries you, though? I’ve been there once, Jaehyun, I know it can be scary to leave a place that has been your home for 4 years.” Jaehyun didn’t expect Suho to get so personal suddenly. Suho was a young professor, but he never gave it that much thought.

“That’s part of the problem, yeah.”

“Everyone is a bit scared upon finishing university, Jaehyun, but you’ll quickly find your place in life.”

“I hope.”

“I have no doubts about it. You’re an outstanding student.” Suho seemed very serious on that point.

“Thanks, professor.”

“Think about the scholarship, please. You won’t regret the experience.”

“Will do. Thanks,” Jaehyun got up to leave, “I’ll send you the next draft in a week or so.”

“Perfect! Goodbye!”

Suho was a very kind professor, Jaehyun was very glad he got to work with him.

\--

Jaehyun had to send a second draft (and a third) before Suho told him it was polished enough. Which left him a lot of time to think about the scholarship. He didn’t want to think about the decision itself, so he began thinking about all the logistics. For starters, he needed some instrument to produce the phrases for the mermaids, and he didn’t know if the Centre would provide them. And even if they did have instruments for use, it was unlikely he would be able to move a whole piano close enough to the water to be able to communicate in an efficient way. He had asked Johnny about it, but his friend didn’t have any idea at first.

**Johnny:**

Jae jae jae jay jay jay

**Jaehyun:**

it’s 7am, what

**Johnny:**

this is important enough, listen up

Well, read up I guess

Ten said something the other day and it gave me an idea

**Jaehyun:**

if this is about another party is2g

**Johnny:**

no, about the communicating part

Ten said when he first got here, there were many words he didn’t know how to pronounce

And that he would put the translation app with audio and play it until he knew how to say it

**Jaehyun:**

but I know how to pronounce it, like

I can sing it but it goes beyond my range, that’s the problem

**Johnny:**

nonono listen up, dude

I was thinking why don’t you record yourself playing the phrases on the piano

And then carry those recordings on your phone and you could play them at the Centre

**Jaehyun:**

hmmmmmm

**Johnny:**

only problem would be to avoid your phone slipping into the water

**Jaehyun:**

tbh it’s not a bad idea

Thanks for the help, appreciate it

Tell Ten he’s great too

**Johnny:**

ofc

That’s why I love him

**Jaehyun:**

gross

**Johnny:**

you love usss, don’t lie

**Jaehyun:**

lemme go back to sleep, whatever

\--

It was April 30th. Which meant it was the last day to answer to Professor Boah. _Aghhhhhh._ Jaehyun opened up his e-mail and looked at the draft he had written the night before. He couldn’t add anything to it, really, nothing had changed in the last hours and he had already thought about the e-mail for weeks now. _Welp, there it goes._ He hit send and closed the computer before he could regret his decision.

**Jaehyun:**

sent it

**Johnny:**

nice!

Come eat some pizza at our place, we’re gonna watch something

**Jaehyun:**

omw

* * *

Yuta’s bed was a disaster. It was full of notes, a mix of dirty and clean clothes, and take away food receipts. The take away boxes were in the floor, too, which made the whole room a mess. Mark once joked that he didn’t know how anyone could find anything in his room, and he got a vague “welp” as a response. Contrary to popular belief, Yuta was aware of the state of his room. He just didn’t care enough about it. He did try to make an effort whenever he had someone over, especially if it was a date, but he wasn’t really into taking anybody to bed now. Not when his crush lived in the other room. _Anyway._ He got dressed with a T-shirt that looked clean enough and some jeans and went to the library to check on his last experiment.

\--

Eavesdropping other people’s conversations wasn’t super ethical, Yuta was aware of that. But what was he supposed to do while waiting for his food to cook and those other people were talking on the phone not even 10 metres away. Of course he was going to listen. This time, it was Jaehyun talking to their landlord.

“Yeah, the weird smell went away finally,” Jaehyun was saying to the phone. “But I wanted to discuss one more thing.” Their landlord said something while Jaehyun was going in circles in their living room. “The thing is I’m not going to be here next year, probably.” _What, why._ Yuta was spending too much time with Mark, he was beginning to sound a lot like him. “I was offered an opportunity out of town, but I won’t know for sure until the summer—“, the landlord interrupted him to say something. “—don’t worry, though, I will find a new tenant if I leave, the room is really nice and I’m sure someone will want it.” Yuta checked on the rice quickly to see if it was done. “Well, I’m leaving next month, but by July or August I’ll know if I would come back or not.” Tears were starting to form in Yuta’s eyes, and he didn’t want to cry in front of Jaehyun. He turned off the stove and went to his room in the most dignified way.

Ten minutes later, his stomach began to growl again. _Ugh, body functions._ He didn’t expect to see Jaehyun right in front of his door when he opened it, though. “Oh! Hi!” Jaehyun began in his usual manner. “Do you want to—wait, is everything okay? Why are you crying?”

 _Fuck._ “Uh, nothing—“

“Did anything happen to your microbes again? Do you need more urine?” Why was Jaehyun so kind with him, it really made the whole crush thing more of a problem than it needed to be.

“No, uh, well, I’m getting there, just a bit stressed.” It wasn’t technically a lie, was it?

“Kay, dude. If you need anything, ask me, it’s no problem for me to help.”

“Sure, I’m going to eat now though, taking a break from it.”

“Yeah, breaks are good for stress. Enjoy your meal!” Jaehyun went into his room. _Welp, time to force this crush to disappear._

\--

Yuta liked eating rice in a lot of recipes. But he liked it even more when it was a day old, and he could play with the new consistency. He was eating omurice, one of his comfort meals, when Doyoung came into the kitchen as well.

“Hey,” Doyoung took out one of Taeyong’s containers from the fridge, “is everything okay? Jaehyun mentioned he saw you yesterday very stressed, but I thought you were doing okay with your diss.”

“I am, it was a half lie.” Doyoung seemed surprised.

“What part was the lie, then?”

“Well, I am stressed, but I didn’t specify why.”

“And why are you stressed, mister?”

Yuta was silent for a couple seconds before he answered. “Yesterday I heard Jaehyun talking on the phone to our landlord.”

“Oh? Should I be worried?”

“Don’t think so. But Jaehyun mentioned he was leaving next month and that he probably wasn’t coming back for next year.”

“And?” _God._ Doyoung was making him spell it out and that made it much worse.

“And I have a massive crush on him and I wasn’t mentally prepared for the idea of him leaving so early,” Yuta said very fast, in an attempt for the truth to sting less.

“Maybe you should talk to him?”

“Fuck, no, no way.”

“Why?”

“Well, first of all, it’s too late. And I don’t want him to be uncomfortable in his own house literally the last month of living here.”

“Assuming he doesn’t like you back,” Doyoung had one eyebrow risen.

“He doesn’t like me back, don’t look at me like that.”

“Why are you so sure, stubborn,” Doyoung took his container out of the microwave.

“Because if Jaehyun had a crush on me, he would’ve told Johnny, who would have told Mark, and Mark is barely capable of keeping secrets.”

“That’s an intricate theory.”

“Of course, I thought about it for years.”

“If you say so. I still think talking things out is helpful, but do as you wish.”

Yuta was suddenly left alone again with his thoughts. Yes, talking things out was a possibility, but it wouldn’t work in this context. And his theory was unshakable, he knew Mark can’t keep secrets from his close friends. Whatever, he still had to check the last modifications on his recipe. That should keep him from his feelings for a while.

\--

**Yuta:**

Guess what!!!!

**Mark:**

What!!!!!

**Yuta:**

I FINALLY have a good consistency

For my diss

**Mark:**

Wow, bro, CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!

We should go celebrate with a cake

**Yuta:**

It could still now work bc cant check but

*but*

Now it’s either that or a laughter potion, so either way it’s good

At least it’s not rat poison anymore

**Mark:**

Fuck yeah, that’s my best friend!

I’ll come pick you up in twenty and we’ll get some cake to celebrate

**Yuta:**

Yayyyyyy

Tbh I might get another piercing to celebrate

**Mark:**

Ok someone’s addicted to piercings now, I see

**Yuta:**

Yes

And I don’t regret it at all 😎

\--

Yuta was checking a piercing place as he had finally decided he was getting a navel one, when Jaehyun got in and called Taeyong and Doyoung out loud. Yuta looked up at him wondering what Jaehyun wanted to say.

“Whatever it is,” Doyoung got out first, “it better be important because I just paused my favourite film just for you.” Taeyong followed him seconds later with puffy eyes.

“You can watch your drama later, don’t worry, Doyoung.”

“Just say it, I want to go back.”

“Well.” Jaehyun seemed nervous, which was unusual. “I’m leaving for a scholarship next month, and I might get a job there for next year—“

“Congrats!” Taeyong shouted. Yuta felt all his feelings creeping inside of him and, even worse, all the tears. _Not now, absolutely not now._ Yuta forced himself to smile through the pain.

“—which means I wouldn’t live here next year.” Doyoung looked at Yuta with a knowing face and nodded subtly in his direction.

“That’s so nice, Jaehyun! I admit that are news important enough to stop my drama.” Jaehyun was all smiley, showing his dimples and with sparkly eyes. _I want to kill this crush and he keeps looking so fucking good._

“What’s the scholarship about? How did you get it?” Taeyong wanted to know it all. Jaehyun briefed him into all the details quickly, and Yuta could see it was a big opportunity for his flatmate. _Glass half full, the distance could help with killing the crush anyway._ He was going to try and celebrate for his friend, even if it still made him tear a little bit.

“That’s really cool, man!” Yuta felt very awkward saying this and Jaehyun looked at him as if something was not quite right.

“I have an amazing idea,” Taeyong was coming to save Yuta’s awkward moment, “let’s go and get cake to celebrate our friend’s achievement.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, let me call the rest so they can join us this night.” Taeyong got with his phone out. “Honey, what was that restaurant’s name?”

“I’ll send you the link, wait,” Doyoung answered and went back in to continue watching his film.

Yuta felt all the nerves getting to him as he was left alone with Jaehyun. “Uh, well, I need to go back to my diss. Congrats!” Yuta escaped before Jaehyun could ask anything.

\--

Yuta knew he was being cold with Jaehyun. He was also aware Jaehyun looked at him like a kicked puppy every time he tried to get a hug and Yuta avoided it. But, c’mon, what was he supposed to do? He was already heartbroken and he couldn’t bear the closeness while trying to get over his feelings. One hug and he would end up crying and then he would have to explain the reason why. Which he couldn’t say to Jaehyun. Because Jaehyun was literally the reason why. Yes, he could see Jaehyun was sad, but it was for the best. On top of that, Jaehyun was already packing his things, which made everything more real and the feelings less avoidable. Yes, being cold was for the best, Yuta was sure of it.

\--

Jaehyun had finished packing very last minute. Yuta knew he should say goodbye to him but he wasn’t sure he could stop his tears so he pretended to be asleep when Jaehyun knocked on his door. Two hours later, he woke up from an accidental nap (sometimes pretending to be asleep makes you actually sleep) and, after checking his clock, realised Jaehyun had already left.

 _The danger zone is over._ Yuta gets his jacket and shoes and leaves the house. He needed a long walk and the weather was finally warm enough to enjoy a long walk. Much to his dismay, the park was full with couples who also had the same idea. Yuta allowed himself to wonder if, maybe, Doyoung might have been right. Perhaps he should have told Jaehyun about his feelings. He did shut him down abruptly, hurting a friend in the process. Did he sacrifice a friendship so he could avoid confronting a couple days of possible discomfort? Perhaps. Was there a possibility for Jaehyun to like him back? He was sure Mark would tell him if he knew anything. That was out of question, but maybe Johnny was better at keeping secrets than his brother. He couldn’t check any of that now, though, it was definitely too late now, and Jaehyun had some intense learning to do in the next days. It was too selfish to ask him now. Too cowardly. He just couldn’t.

Yuta went back home and sat down at his bed. He was done with his dissertation now, and didn’t remember what kind of activities he used to do before exams season got to him. Well, he could clean his room. By the time he finished, everything was in its place. Except his truth serum (the last version, the good one) which was on his desk waiting to be presented later that week. Yuta suddenly had the urge to try it. No one was around, especially Jaehyun, and it was safe to do so. At worst, it was going to induce a lot of laughs out of him. At best, it did actually work and he would write down his feelings or whatever. But trying it as it is was too boring, it was time to incorporate it in a drink.

Yuta took his bottle and went to the kitchen to check what ingredients they had around. Two minutes later, he was crushing ice to make some magic-spiked virgin mojitos. The serum had citric notes so it was going to pair well with the mint and lime. He added three drops at the end, waiting to see if it reacted in any way. _Nothing._ He added some more drops, just to check. _Still nothing._ Welp, time for the real experiment. The mix tasted like a regular mix, sans magic, maybe with the mint overpowering a midge. Yuta didn’t feel anything inside of him so he finished the drink. _Again, still nothing._ He didn’t die, too, which was good. At least not rat poison for sure. Maybe he didn’t prepare it correctly and it was just…a very weird fruit juice. It would be a bummer, but he had sent his dissertation already, and it didn’t make sense to make edits now. He wanted to perfect the mix, though, so he made himself a couple more drinks until everything was balanced. He was very proud of his mixology skills, and wasn’t going to be able to sleep if it he didn’t reach perfection. He wrote down the last mix and went to sleep, now with peace of mind.

\--

Next morning, Yuta woke up with an urging full bladder. He did drink a lot of liquid the night before, nothing surprising. The real surprise, though, was seeing Jaehyun calling him when he got of the bathroom.

“Hi?” Yuta answered the call.

“Hey. I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye yesterday, so I was calling—“

“Oh, don’t worry about it, it wasn’t your fault at all,” Yuta felt the urge to say the whole truth. _Fuck, the drinks did work._ Time to keep as quiet as possible.

“Still, I’m sorry, dude, I couldn’t risk losing my train, but I wanted to clear the air between us.”

 _Oh, no, this is going to be a herculean task._ “There’s…uh,” Yuta was frantically fighting the urge to just spill the truth, “listen, don’t worry. You should concentrate into learning everything you can.” Yuta could feel the delayed effects of the drinks increasingly winning over his will power.

“Dude, but—“

“Don’t worry, really.”

“I’m not worried, but you’re kinda avoid—“

 _Nonono._ The words came out of him almost bursting. “Like, I might miss you already and our cuddling sessions but that’s on me.”

“What?”

“Fuck.” He was done. He was going to bury himself and disappear for ever and ever.

“What do you mean you miss me? You were the one avoiding any physical contact.”

“Y-yeah, it was…”

“No, you’re not allowed to miss me, Yuta, that’s bullshit.”

“I’m sorry, Jaehyun. I swear there is an explanation.”

“And what is it? Because I just spent two whole weeks trying to understand and wondering if it was my fault for forcing your boundaries around my crush.”

“Wait, what?” That didn’t make any sense. He was the one with the crush. That was absurd.

“What do you mean what? Don’t act as if you didn’t know.”

“I didn’t, Jaehyun. I—“

“No way.”

“I really didn’t. The reason why I miss you is because I have a crush on you.” Jaehyun was silent for too long. “Jaehyun? Are you still there?”

“Yes. If you had a crush on me, why did you avoid any physical contact with me for so long?”

“Oh, man, I…didn’t want to get my hopes up.”

“Aha.”

“But then you comforted me that day in the library and I realised you give wonderful hugs so I started accepting them more and more.”

“Okay, and what about the last weeks?”

“Well, because of the leaving news.”

“No way, you were avoiding me before I told you to begin with.”

“I heard you talking to the landlord on the phone.”

“Oh.”

“Are you angry with me?”

Jaehyun began laughing on the other side. “No, but this was the most absurd convo we’ve ever had.”

“It is.”

“We’re definitely continuing with this topic, though. And, also, I’m now asking you formally to come with me as my plus one for the graduation event.”

“Well.”

“If you want, of course. No pressure.”

“I’d love to, but I better go find something to wear because I absolutely forgot about the graduation.”

“Kay, cool, I’ll talk to you later, then. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Jaehyun.”

So Doyoung was right. He could’ve saved himself all the hurt just by talking to Jaehyun. _Ugh, Doyoung is not going to drop this. Ever._ It was a fair price to pay, though, because apparently he now had a date with his long-standing crush. He should tell Mark. And then check if Johnny knew. His theory was still a big question mark.

_Also. My drinks actually worked, good to know._

_\--_

Yuta recieved a text later that day from Jaehyun. It was a little audio file and an audio message from Jaehyun. The file played four long notes. _What does this mean, huh._

"I just asked one of the mermaids to tell me how to say that you're my everything in their language. I can actually communicate with them! It's super cool, dude."

Welp, his crush was definitely as strong as ever. But this time it wasn't a problem anymore. Good to know too.

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually quite proud of this fic. It has forced me to take lots of decisions re: my writing style and made me grow as a writer. Blablabla 2020 has been the worst but at least I've actually fulfilled one of my goals. 2021 is coming with more writing on the way for sure!
> 
> also haha i actually spent more time writing background info for the characters' dissertations than working at my actual diss, haha, good thing i still have until june lmao
> 
> PS: i actually developed so much background info I might add some of it to the notes later on.
> 
> PS2: you can check my twitter now!


End file.
